we have pet lesbian snakes
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the liver wants what the liver wants
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
