If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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