Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize