I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
