The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
