just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
