great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
