She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
