so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
