youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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