wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize