I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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