I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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