My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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