I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
