my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
