I wish I only lived at night.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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