I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize