My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
