Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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