So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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