Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
