I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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