That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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