I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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