dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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