9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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