Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
