Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he fucked my hip out of place.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize