I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
