LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you inspire me to be a worse person
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
