Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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