youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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