why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
