I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
