Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
