He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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