how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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