Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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