Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
