normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
