Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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