i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
