Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
