then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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