i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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