and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
