1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize