I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
