So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
