his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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