If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
