Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
