Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She bit a glass in half.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
