Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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