just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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