if you like me you must not know who I am
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
