I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
