did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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